Love and Marriage

Love and marriage, love and marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage.
This I tell ya, brother, you can’t have one without the other

-Sammy Cahn

I realize that my absence from this blog is actually good for me because I am able to hold myself accountable for my how disparaging I have been.

I am just two months and seven days away from official being a wed woman. I am not going to sit here and lie to you and sugar coat it like thousands of women out there.

Marriage is scary.

Don’t believe all that bullcrap about how marriage is rainbows, butterflies and roses.

It’s not.

It’s absolutely terrifying knowing that you are about to commit yourself to ONE person for the rest of your life. FOREVER. You don’t get to change your mind (I definitely don’t believe in divorce so this is why I say that you have to know what you are getting yourself into).  You don’t get to wake up and say “I’m done with you. I want someone else.” You have committed yourself to this other human being forever.

When I first met Chris, everything was rainbows, butterflies and roses. Because I forced myself to believe that is what relationships are about. They are not. Relationships take a lot of work. They require you to put effort and really listen to what the other person is saying. Relationships are not about changing the other person, they are about letting your other half be who they are and appreciating them for what they are. Chris isn’t perfect. Neither am I. I never expected anyone to hold me to that type of expectation. Regardless, every time I tell someone that I am scared and nervous about my upcoming nuptials, I get that grim gasp that makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

I love Chris. We work. We are each other’s person. However, I have seen a lot of friends get married too quickly, get married too young, get married even though they weren’t right for each other, get divorced, get separated, not take marriage seriously and end up more hurt than they would have if they had just each other let go. Other factors that make me nervous include both of our debts, student loans, financial instability and my bills due to my Diabetes. It’s a LOT to take on. Then you have to add the whole notion that you need to plan a wedding (which we have managed to plan with the help of amazing friends, family and our INCREDIBLE friend & wedding coordinator). It is a lot to take on. There is a lot that goes into a relationship…there is more that goes into actually getting married.

In my search for soundness, I, of course, turned to the internet to see if I am just being an emotional basket case.

I learned…I am not. I came across this incredible blog post on The Knotty Bride. Read this post…even if you aren’t apprehensive like I am. I am definitely feeling like Becky was feeling in that episode before her and Uncle Jesse get married.

All worries aside…I am actually really excited to get married and spend the rest of my life with the one person who COMPLETELY gets me emotionally and physically. I am even more excited for the day after because all of the pressure will be off of us and we can enjoy other friends take on this emotional journey and commitment.

Feel free to share your stories of anxiety or apprehension with me. It will be much welcomed.

OH YEAH! The next post will be about my FABULOUS wedding shoes that Seychelles ever so graciously sent me.

Here’s a sneak peek!

Until the next post.

xo

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